Monday 19 April 2010

Numb

There are days when I don't feel like moving, or doing anything. I want to wake up and lie in bed, unthinking, unfeeling. I don't even want to talk, or eat, or do anything to improve this state of mind. I want to stay in my numbness, cold and biting, like ice in my veins.
Today is one of those days, when I want to go into a coccoon and not peep out, time-warp this entire day. I am at work and everytime I have to say something I have to will myself to open my mouth and make the words come out at an acceptable rate. It seems like such an effort to just get myself to act upon anything. I wish everything around me would freeze and stand still for just a little while.Everyone to stop talking, stop moving, just stop whatever they are doing and sit still, unfeeling...
It would be good too, if I lay somewhere and bled out. If my blood kept flowing out of everywhere and drained me of life, sapped my of strength, and then I would just waste away and not be. That would be nice...

1 comment:

Migs said...

Not a good day my love ... if it makes you feel any better I have days like that too sometimes. Days when I want to burrow into the dark spaces of my duvet and pretend that the outside world doesn't exist (not that I have a duvet in the Delhi heat ...)I hope that it doesn't last.